What mysterious force drives us into the arms of one person, while pushing us away from another who might appear equally desirable to any unbiased observer?
Of the many factors 61 (influence) our idea of the perfect mate, one of the most telling, according to John Money, professor emeritus of Medical Psychology and Pediatrics at Johns Hopkins University, is 62 he calls our “l(fā)ove map” — a group of messages encoded in our brains that describes our likes and 63 (dislike). It shows our preferences in hair and eye color, in voice, smell, and body build. It also records the kind of personality that 64 (appeal) to us, 65 it's the warm and friendly type or the strong, silent type.
In short, we fall for and pursue those people who most clearly fit our love map. And this love map is 66 (large) determined in childhood. By age eight, the pattern for our ideal mate has already begun to float around in our brains.
When I lecture, I often ask couples in the audience what drew them to their dates or mates. Answers range 67 “She's strong and independent” and “I go for redheads” to “I love his sense of humor” and “That crooked smile, that's what did it.”
Robert Winch, a longtime Sociology professor at Northwestern University, stated in his research that our choice of a marriage partner involves a number of social similarities. But he also maintained that we look for someone with 68 (complement) needs. A talker is attracted to someone who likes to listen, or an aggressive personality may seek out a more passive partner.
However, there are instances 69 people of different social backgrounds end up getting married and being extremely happy. I know of one man, a factory worker from a traditional Irish family in Chicago, who fell in love with an African American Baptist. When they got married, their friends and relatives predicted a 70 (quickly) failure. But 61 years later, the marriage is still strong.
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